Is Patience really a virtue?.......Yes?......I'm in BIG trouble!

Picture it......Wednesday, 5:50 in the morning.  I am laying in bed listening to birds sing outside.  My husband came in and asked, "Did you know that today is picture day at school?".  My reply was "uh, yeah of course I do".  What I was thinking was "OH CRAP!!!!  IT'S FREAKIN' PICTURE DAY AND I FORGOT!!!!".  All peace and serenity to the day is gone.  I jumped up from the bed, threw on a robe and made a mad dash for my daughters bedroom.   PRAISE THE LORD.......she's awake already!  If there is one thing I've learned, and there are actually many, you need to at least think "Praise the Lord" for every little thing you can.  Raising three kids and a Granny (sometimes it feels like 4 kids...that's why Granny was included as being "raised"  ;-) is a marathon from start to finish.  Okay where was I?   Oh, so Darling daughter is at least vertical when I walk into her room.  As usual there is crap scattered on her floor.  Nothing too bad, just the usual tween junk.  She is standing in front of the closet with a black dress in her hand.......for Spring pictures.   Without making a face (I think) I said, "Sweetheart, you probably should wear something with a little more color for Spring pictures......plus you wore that one for Christmas pictures".   She hangs the dress back up and I say "How about that long pink and blue one?".  She said, "It's not in here".   Okay, lets think about this for just a moment.  It is mid March.  We have been wearing drab winter crap for months.  The Spring colored dress that has not been worn for aforementioned months is missing......?  I took about three deep breaths before asking my next question because as a mother you just get a feeling, you  kinda know when your kids are going to tick you off.  "Honey, where is the dress"?  Guess what.....I was right, her answer ticked me off.  "I think it's in the dirty clothes momma".  We all do recall that this dress has not been worn for 6 months right?????  Do you know what happened next?  Nothing.  I just stared at her for about half a minute.  After recovering from my temporary stupor I said "When is the last time you wore that dress?".   She didn't know of course.  She also had no idea how it came to reside in my laundry room.  I was still feeling fairly patient when I suggested she do a couple loads of laundry when she gets home from school today.  She did say "Mom I don't know how to wash clothes by myself".  Whatcha wanna bet she learns!  I told her to put on some jeans.  Nice ones without faded knees.  She wanted to know "How do I know which ones are the nice ones?".  Sigh......"Just put on some jeans child".  I pulled a cute shirt out of her closet.  One of those that looks like two shirts.  White with lavender hearts and lavender sleeves.  She said, "I already wore that one for pictures this year".  I said, "Well, I don't have any of those pictures.  It will be okay".  Apparently it would not be okay because she said, "But Mom, that picture is the one that's going to be in the yearbook"!!!  I was thinking "Just put on the stinking shirt".  Guess what?  That isn't what I said though.  After three or four options which were shot down we setteled on a shirt.  Now, you might think that the battle was won.  You would be wrong.  I started to walk out of the room and she said "What shoes am I gonna wear".  You can insert the sound of a ticking clock here.......I stood there looking down at the foot of her bed where 5 pair of shoes were lined up.  I decided it was best not to answer this one.  I just moved my eyes...up at her, down at the shoes, up at her, back down to the shoes.   I turned around and walked out.  I still have a boy to get ready for picture day.....you know, the picture day I knew about.  
While I am thinking about it, it is perfectly reasonable fo rme to have forgotten picture day.  I mean all the school did was send me a note on Friday, an email on Monday and they sent the kids home yesterday with stickers stuck to their shirts that read "Picture day tommorrow!".    Anybody would have forgotten right?...Now you can insert crickets chirping.
Back to the morning marathon.  Time to dress child number 2.  It's time for another "Praise the Lord"!  Dad had this one in jeans already.  Not zipped etc., but it was a start.  I went to his closet and pulled out a button up shirt with happy colored vertical stripes.  He did not complain about my choice of shirt.  This in itself is nearly miraculous.  Then I went to the dresser to get an undershirt.......No undershirts.  "Son, where are your undershirts"?  "What's a undershirt, I don't know what you are talking about".  Well, I said, It's those plain white t-shirts I got you to wear under your nice shirts.  Guess what he said.....go on, guess.  "I think they're in the dirty clothes mom".  I asked him if he had worn them lately.  I bet you already know what he said.  "Uh...uh....no".   I pulled out a regular t-shirt, pulled it down over his head and told him to keep his shirt buttoned just like I had it because I did not want to get his pictures back and see that big tennis shoe on the front of what was now his undershirt staring back at me.  I handed him a pair of socks and his shoes and told him to go to living room and put them on and to get Daddy to fix his hair.  Poor thing has inherited hair from some of my family that just flies all over the place.  No 8 year old boy could tackle that mess on their own. 
I felt accomplished.  I had done it another day.  They were ready for school.........then I hear "MOM!  You didn't tell me what shoes to wear".  I had to stand there in the dark hallway for just a second.  Breathe in, breathe out, repeat.  "Girl, just put some shoes on".  I am still appearing to be moderately patient.  On the outside.  A few minutes later she appears in the living room with shoes and socks in hand.  Have you ever seen something really slow like a turtle or maybe a sloth put on socks and shoes?  No?  Well neither had I until today.  It's like the poor child was in one of those slow motion play by plays they do during a sports show.  Now my patience level was teetering somewhere between "I can remain calm" and "I am about to desolve into a crying mess".  Once the painfully slow application of socks and shoes was completed I looked up and realized in all of the mornings distraction I had not fixed her hair.  Three minutes until time for the school bus.  I made a mad dash to the bathroom, retrieved all the stuff you need to do a gals hair these days and was back in a flash.  Hair was done with about a minute to spare.  "Mom, where is my jacket"?  I informed her that it was lying there with her backpack.  Believe it or not she didn't like that jacket anymore.  The same jacket that has been the only one she was willing to wear for weeks.  She NEEDED her navy blue jacket.  The bus was coming down the street now.  I had no clue where the requested jacket was located.  But, I was in luck!  Her little brother (the one who is not supposed to go in her room on penalty of death according to his big sister) knew exactly where in her room it was located.  I think he my be psychic!!!  I handed my dear girl her jacket and opened the front door.  She started to cry.  Guess why.  Because she didn't have on her jacket and she might freeze to death....I convinced her she could put it on really fast and she was not going to freeze....at least I think I convinced her.  Out the door my babies went.  I yelled out the door "Have a wonderful day, I love you, be good, learn everything!" just like I do everyday.  I gently shut the door, leaned my head against it and said "ARRRGGHHHH"!!!   Now after my morning marathon is over I look back and think that maybe the actual act of preparing the children for their day was not the hard part.  The real test is reamining patient during the process.  "Praise the Lord"!